FTM: Shared Room vs. Nursery sleeping from day 1

Im a FTM w/ a scheduled c-section Jan 16 (37w) due to placenta Previa. I don’t want to open up a can of worms, bc I know this topic is touchy and people have strong opinions on it. And I have no problem with people room sharing. I always figured, “whatever works for you, your family, and your situation.” However, I’ve been seeing so many articles pop up recently regarding how you need to room share. And I was NOT planning on doing that.

So... is nursery sleeping from day 1 really so awful??? Am I the only one that was planning on doing this???

I’ve always been a bit more on the traditional side in my thinking of parenting, and my husband and I always thought we would go nursery sleeping from day 1. My parents and in-laws did it that way, and I have a few friends that did as well and swear by it. I would like to mention, I say “more traditional”, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to ignore the baby, make him “cry-it-out”, etc. I just want to encourage healthy sleep habits and self-soothing skills (within reason), and also keep my husband and I sane as well allowing us a little bit of shut eye. The nursery is at a right-angle next to our room with the door adjacent to ours so the crib is about 10 steps from my side of the bed (I counted lol). My husband is going to be the stay at home dad and we are planning on sharing night time feedings (I will breastfeed, he will bottle feed) and changing. We plan on also using an audio/video monitor and a cry-activated crib soother that attaches to the crib rail.

I know they recommend shared room sleeping in a bassinet/crib/separate co-sleeper, and I’ve seen research both for and against it. But now all these articles are popping up on nurture/GLOW about how you should share a room, otherwise your baby will be in danger. It’s terrifying. Now I wonder if we should just have a pack in play in our room as a bassinet? But I’m not sure if this will work for our family and situation.

Here are my concerns (besides those I already mentioned in regards to sleep training) if we do shared room:

- my husband is a super super light sleeper, and I feel like I will be so concerned with the baby next to me I will also wake up at the tiniest of sounds/movement.

- my husband wakes up at even the smallest amount of light, so every time I have to turn on the lamp to check on the baby and breastfeed, he will also wake up. He wouldn’t complain about it and is wonderful. But I want to make this as sane for the both of us as possible.

- Even if the baby is in our room, I will likely still walk to the nursery to use the glider. Our bed is much too high to easily get into with the baby in my arms (I have to kinda hop up on my tip toes to get in), and I am terrified I will be much more likely to doze off when breastfeeding while sitting in bed anyway, compared to sitting up in a chair. And we don’t have any space in our bedroom for an extra chair.

- our golden retriever sleeps in our room bc he was recently diagnosed with epilepsy, so we will wake up and know if he has a seizure. He will get up at times in the middle of the night and walk around, and we are worried it will wake the baby,

- lastly, we have 2 cats, and I’m concerned they will jump in the pack and play/bassinet at night (they can’t get into the crib). And if we close the door to our room they pound on the door.

I know there are cons to nursery sleeping as well. And even though we have a plan for sleep training, “best laid plans” and all that don’t always work out and every baby is different. We know we will have to adapt and be a bit flexible. But, now these articles on room sharing have freaked me out! Am I just overthinking it? Is day 1 nursery sleeping really so bad?