I CAUGHT HIM

I really need advice please. On how to cope with a divorce. Letting go and starting life without the person I thought was the love of my life. posted on here yesterday about my husband looking for escorts and most likely having sex with them. When I found out I told him “what is this? How could you do this to me? What have I ever done to you to disrespect me like this? I can’t believe it” and he kept denying it. I searched up all the numbers on his block list and they’re all escorts. Some had dates like august 2019 or November 4, 2019. I felt my body get hot. And I lost control. I slapped him like two times. (Which I am now regretting so so bad) he grabbed his phone and I was just crying my eyes out saying I never thought you were capable of this and he just kept saying “I didn’t do anything” over and over again. I can’t believe how stupid and blinded I’ve been. I gave him so many chances. I cried so many nights asking god to give me strength and to help me fix things so we can be happy and finally have our own family. We were trying to get pregnant for 3 years now. We live together but after I slapped him he left but before he did, i asked him why and I asked for his phone and he told me no, we’re not going to be together so there’s no point and he just left. He didn’t take anything with him but his handgun. Today I woke up with no internet or cable and I called the company and found out he canceled it early morning. I texted him and called him last night around 11 pm and he just hung up. Now I feel even more stupid, running after someone that doesn’t care about me. So many nights I waited for him. I know that he is mostly likely at his moms house. I depended on him too much. I am currently going to school to become a nurse. I’m a full time student and I don’t have much. I know he’s going to take the car away, this phone I’m using, everything. I’m going to go get tested this week. I have applied everywhere for a job but I’ve had no luck. What do I do now? I literally threw up yesterday when I found out. I’m scared to be alone. I hate to admit it but it’s the truth. I’m a mess. I feel like I’m dying. I thought that I was going to start my own family, be a mom. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. I feel so weak and disgusting. I don’t know what to do. I’m scared and I’m lost.. i don’t know how divorces work. I’m in my early 20s.. I need advice please.