Different religions and children? Who should get to choose?

Question

So my husband was raised to believe in god. I was never raised in a religious home, we never went to church, never prayed or even talked about god. One day when I was a teenager I remember asking my dad if he thinks there is a god and he told me “I don’t know”. But he said if I’m interested in going to church he can take me and he gave me a bible that his grandpa gave him and said that Only I can choose if I want to believe in god or not. I’ve always kind of had the mentality that there is no way to know if god is real or not so I don’t know. 
My husband wants to raise our children going to church but I’d rather let them choose for themselves when they are older if they want to choose a religion and go to church. This is a dilemma we are having, who should get to choose, me or my husband?

Answer

I'm someone who is not religious at all.
That said, I see no issue taking them to church as small children & if they decide that they want to stop going or go to a different place of worship at any point, they can be free to do so. My parents are not particularly religious but they used to take us sometimes as kids-- I eventually decided I had no interest & they were fine with that, but I think it was a good thing to experience to help me figure out my views on religion. I really see no possible harm as long as the kids are free to decide to stop going.

Answer

Does he normally go to church? Is it important to him? I’d probably say let him take them to church and let them know early on they have a choice in what they believe.

Answer

Same situation. I was raised Catholic and my Husband was raised in a non religious household. He doesn't care, if its important to me to raise our children religiously then he is open to that. I don't see the harm in raising them with the values that come along with religion. If they choose their own path when they're older that's perfectly fine. Of course this is something you and your husband will have to discuss. But truthfully your child will eventually chose what they want to believe in.

Answer

Me and my SO are exactly like you and yours. I wasn’t raised religious at all, my SO was raised in an extremely Christian household. We are raising our children in a non religious way, if they ask questions (they haven’t yet because ones only 2 and the others not even born yet) I already plan on answering in a very open way, like for example, I’ll just say “well some people choose to believe this, others choose to believe that, you can choose to believe what YOU want” we just really want them to have the freedom to believe in what they want and not feel pressured to lean towards a certain way of thinking. I feel like that’s the best way to go about it

Answer

The rolls are reversed for me. I grew up Catholic going to church, private school the whole nine. My husband is an atheist. When I was in 8th grade I had decide I no longer believe in “god” but that something created everything and that there is an afterlife but I don’t think it’s as black and white as heaven and hell. 
However my husband and I decided that we will raise our kids Catholic but we won’t force them to go to church or anything like that. That once they are older and decide it isn’t for them then they don’t have to believe. I’ve found it’s easier and more comforting to explain death to a young child of religion is involved. 
I’m grateful I was raised the way I was and given the education I was because I learned about my religion and the basic of all the others and why people believe in certain things.

Answer

i say take them to church young to give them the chance to decide if they like it or not, and if they don’t wanna go or believe don’t make them

Answer

The child. When they are old enough to choose to go to church or not if say at 2-3 they want to go to church with dad then fine but forcing them isn’t the way

Answer

My husband and I come from different religious backgrounds. We talked about how we would choose to raise potential children as far as religion and discipline goes before we even met. We figured if we didn't agree, we weren't compatible and it wasn't worth getting invested. I'd wait to have a conversation when feelings aren't running so high and find out what's really important to each of you, and try to come to a compromise. What you're each feeling is valid, Maybe church could be daddy and kid time and you do something special to you with them and each of you agrees to support the other parents beliefs.

Answer

I would wait until they're older and let them choose. It's no different to forcing kids to be veggie or vegan to me. Or getting their ears pierced. All these things should be a choice at an age where they're old enough to understand.

Answer

So I was raised Catholic (like my dad goes to church every day still, my mom was a nonpracticing Episcopalian) and my husband Baptist but his dad also has a PhD in religious studies so he was exposed to a lot of religions.
Now do i go to church now? No, I don’t. And it’s not out of laziness but a lot has happened in my life that I have questioned my faith. (Not looking for debates on this, I have my reasons). 
But I do think the foundation of how I think is still surrounded by the Catholic/christen faith in a lot of way. My husband and I decided we would baptize our son into the Catholic faith and show him the option. Then as he gets older, he can decide if he continues or not.

Different religions and children? Who should get to choose?

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