Please dont judge ive never spoken about this

So I am 39 years young my partner is 32, I have a 12 year old daughter as an oops the first time me and my ex ever had sex. I also had an abortion at 17 because my mother made me and another one at 21 cause my ex husband said if we had the baby he would leave me... he left anyway. Now it’s been 6 months of sex sex and more sex with my partner and nothing. Calculated my ovulation this month had sex every 24 hours for seven days straight. 🤞🏻 I am pregnant this month. I feel like I’m being punished because of my abortions when I was younger. I would’ve loved to have those babies but I was honestly totally controlled by other people. Now I have my shit together and I just want one more baby!