OH going out more now I’m pregnant?

Question

My OH and I aren’t really the ones for going out every weekend drinking but ever since we found out we are having a baby, he’s been having a couple beers after work (I don’t have a problem with that). Then last weekend he went out with with some guys he works with and didn’t come back until 4am, I was so pissed off because we have a rescue dog too that finds it difficult to settle and as I expected, he didn’t go back to sleep so I didn’t either. He kept apologising and saying that he won’t be going out and make up for all the stress he made .
Then today he’s messaged me saying it’s his friends birthday next weekend and is it okay for him to go out. I’m so fucked off that he’s doing this, make me feel crazy for feeling this way.
Am I out of order?

Answer

I know how u feel. I don’t think your wrong and your never wrong for how you feel. Having a baby is a big change and sometimes you just want your partner there, it’s hard for me to fall asleep knowing he’s home but out if that makes sense. He’s going to be a dad soon it’s time to realize you can’t stay out drinking till 4am neither can he. Just because baby isn’t here yet doesn’t mean life is carefree still. It always bothered me if he was out that late, barclose is 2 and nothing good ever happens past barclose. Maybe talk to him saying you don’t mind if he goes out for his friends birthday but (I hate to sound like such a brat) both agree on a respectful time to be home. You have to voice how u feel or he won’t realize it bothers you.

Answer

My husband is a musician and is out late regularly. I'm really torn between wanting him to enjoy it now while he can or telling him it's time to start reigning it in. It worries me that he doesn't understand the gravity of adding a baby to our family. I think we're going to have a talk soon to clear up our expectations.

Answer

This is not a defense of your husband but I've been there. My husband travels once a month for work for a week and we have a 5 year old at home and he was making this habit of going out with his co-workers a few days after he returned home. It was infuriating to me because I was home all week by myself and our son missed him terribly. I had a talk with him about and he just wasn't thinking. He and his co-workers were using at a time to catch him up on what he missed. I suggested maybe lunch when he returns versus happy hour because it is a lot. He did have the courtesy of asking if it was okay. I try really hard to not to be wife always saying no but talk to him about it. Men are not really good at reading woman sometimes you have to spell it out for them.

Answer

I understand where you’re coming from, but as long as he’s not neglecting his responsibilities at home (which I guess would be the dog) I wouldn’t be too hard on him. Is it possible you wish you could go out and have fun as well? You have every right to set boundaries about what makes you uncomfortable, and saying “you coming in at X o clock doesn’t work for me, I can’t sleep properly, the dog wakes up, etc.” is acceptable. Hopefully he will understand that part and you can reach a compromise. I’d just be careful about the whole “permission” thing, it doesn’t set a good precedent. And you will need some time out too every once in a while once the baby is here.

Answer

My husband did it a few times, where he was out till 3 or 4 am, while I was pregnant with a newborn. I was pretty livid. He wasn’t really thinking about it, didn’t think about the fact that I was exhausted from working and having the baby with me all day. After I talked with him about it, he realized that it isn’t easy on me when he does that. He still goes out occasionally, but not that late ever anymore. (I really miss going out with him)

OH going out more now I’m pregnant?

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