Abortion @17

Me and my ex of 2 years had gotten in a lot of stuff with each other and court bc I had pressed charges on him. But after everything we still would link up and have sex.

It was obvious we wouldn’t ever get back in a relationship he literally treated me like shit idk why I continued to have sex with him

Shortly I found out I was pregnant, he was there with me at the hospital and stuff but it was obvious he wanted a abortion and I just agreed with him I told my mom she said it was my choice and I told her I wanted an abortion

But days later I was considering keeping it and i would try to talk to him about it and he would basically cut me off saying that I’m not keeping it

I had went to the hospital bc I thought something was wrong with me and I asked him to come and he basically said he wasn’t coming bc he heard the father was someone else which we got into an argument about, then ended up going to the detention center so I didn’t to him In a few days

I told my mom through a text message saying I wanted to keep it and when I got home my dad ended up slamming me to the ground saying I was going

The day of the abortion I got an ultrasound and I heard the heart beat that’s when I texted the father of the baby saying idk if I could go through with the abortion if I don’t I don’t want you to be mad at me just be there for me

He shut that down real fast saying how he’s not ready we both don’t have a job and how his mom “kicked him out” all this bullshit so I just went and got it done

I woke up in tears I regretted it as soon as I woke up but it was to late my mom said I had a choice and the doctor did to but I didn’t fr with everyone in my family telling me they ain’t raising no baby ( which I planned on moving out bc my family is toxic ) and the father not supporting me in anything I felt like I had no option.

I mean I was only 6 weeks but my body was already changing and u could tell fr I just wish I had someone who supported me or it would of been different, I have no one to talk to at all and I’m starting to cut myself I just regret it so much

If anyone have any advice I would like to hear it or tell me there own experience and if it was for them or not 😕

( I’m still in sports and in a stna program ) if it matter

and I’m on the depo now but I want to get pregnant again bc I regret it so much idk I just wish I said something or idk, I see everyone and they babies and I get so heart broken