Happy, but timing is rough

I have a daughter born in 2018. We conceived her after 7 months of “vigorous trying” (bbt, cervical mucus, OPKs, you name it). I gained 60 lbs through pregnancy and breastfeeding and my cycles got longer and more unpredictable. Back when I was heavy before I had been diagnosed with PCOS. So, when it was 6 months of trying again for our second, I had started getting nervous. But for 2 or 3 of those 6, I was breastfeeding still, so I knew that could affect it.

One of my best friends got married in May and immediately started trying to conceive. About a month later, she was pregnant. I was so happy for her but a little bummed each month that went by that our babies couldn’t be the same age, which would have been epic.

She had a great uneventful pregnancy and gender reveal (a boy) until Tuesday. On Tuesday she went into spontaneous labor and delivered at 24 weeks, 1 day. Her son lived two days and died on Thursday. It’s so unspeakably sad we’re all still in shock over it.

On Thursday I also found out I’m pregnant with my second. Of course my first feeling was excitement but then I thought of my sweet friend who has to bury her son and just thought, “Wow, timing you’re a bitch.” This friend threw my baby shower for my first and I was working on hers and we’re doing so much life together, I know it’s going to be hard.

Not necessarily needing anything just wanted to explain my mixed feelings.