Need outside perspective...UPDATE

So this morning, before I had even fully woken up, my fiance came in the bedroom with a bra asking if it was mine. It's not. I asked him where it came from and he said he is doing his buddies laundry from work.

So the story with this guy is he needed a job so my fiance gave him one. He has fallen on hard times and was eating dry ramen at work so I started sending a lunch for him as well. So it didn't seem really off that my fiance would help by doing his laundry. Even though he doesnt ever help me with laundry 🤔 I still get it.

If it were just this, I wouldn't think twice. But there are a lot of things that have been off since I was pregnant. Including, over the summer when his daughter was visiting (shes 10). I went to a friends for a few hours and he took the baby and his daughter. Said he was going to the jump park with them. The next day, his daughter asked me if I knew the blonde girl. I asked "what blonde girl" She said "the one on the couch in her bra yesterday talking and laughing with daddy".

Nope. Sure don't.

When I asked him, he said he didnt know what she was talking about.

There are many others. He has started taking better care of himself, started texting late but won't ever say who. He is gone until past 10pm saying he is working. He works outside. He isn't working that late... and says he is working Sunday's. But then forgets what he told me and says something different later in the week. No, you told me you already did that job, why would you be doing it again??

When he is home he is either playing video games or on the phone. Ignoring both me and our son most of the time.

His attitude has completely changed towards me. Much more misogynistic. I could go on and on.

Then I thought to myself today.... last night I went to take a shower and the hot water was out. So I walked out of the bathroom and my fiance was coming in from outside. He had a bunch in his hands like he was cleaning out his truck. He moved everything from one had in front of him then slid a grocery bag behind the dining room table and onto the floor. As if I didnt notice. Then later closed the laundry room door to do laundry. He also waited u til 11pm when the baby woke up and I went in to feed him. He never does laundry. And it seems like he waited until I was going to shower to get whatever was in his truck. Like he had time to.

Then later he told me it was his buddies clothes. Then the bra this morning. It's all just off.

Maybe I'm thinking too much into it because I'm already pretty sure he has a girlfriend. Ive tried hard to talk to him kindly and calmly about it. But he just gets defensive.

I just told him that next time his buddy asks for a favor, maybe he could be respectful and curtious enough to actually pay attention to what he is putting in this one tiny grocery bag. Because shit like this causes issues.

I dont know what to believe. With everything else.....

Am I over thinking or have I been putting my head in the sand for far too long?

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I also want to add that last week he sent me two messages on messenger than deleted them. I saw them a bit on my notification bar. It was something about "yeah I'm seeing her later". I didnt tell him I saw some of the message because I wasnt positive what I read and dont know the context. But he told me it was something personal with one of his buddies. He loves to gossip so I dont know why he wouldnt tell me. Then he brought me flowers. Which he had only done once before. In 7 years. So again, seems a bit off with everything else.

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When I bring any of it up, he immediately flips on me. Tells me it isn't real and I'm just trying to get him to not work. That I need to let him do what he needs to do and I need to fall in line. Since I'm a SAHM and not working. I have brought it all up as I see it happening. Theres no talking to him.

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I think in his mind, bringing up the bra was a preemptive strike. In case I managed to see it. He is fully aware of my suspicions.

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Well.... I decided to go through his messenger.... so many. So many late night messages. So many long hour long late night phone calls. Videos and photos sent, concern being shown about their lives. So many women. So many planned meetups that I dont know what happened....

All while i was alone. Needing him. Being a new mom. Exhausted and broken.

One woman in particular bothers me. Lots of calls. Late night. And probably a meet up. Shes married. i badly want to message her but i don't she will tell me the truth. She has to protect herself. Wtf do I do. I dont even have a working vehicle to get us out. I have nothing. no family. No friends.

Oh my fucking God. This is actually happening.