I'm sure a lot of mummies can relate to a lot of this and some may not but I've read a few different threads on different apps where mums are struggling so I thought I'd put together a few bits - if this helps at least one mummy or makes her feel better then it's been worth it!

Getting annoyed then feeling guilty - babes throw tantrums, it's what they do. The sooner you get use to this the easier it will be. Saying that...even the calmest of mummies get frustrated after hours of crying so...put baby in a safe place like his/her cot and walk away for a minute (or 5)...once your calm then come in and try again. Babies feel your annoyance and anxiety and that makes them worse so take the time!

Liquid paracetamol/snot sucking/saline nasal spray/nose wiping - all these immediately mean tantrums. They don't like it, you don't like it - they are frustrated and so are you. It won't get better until they can understand that it's for their own health so don't feel guilty for holding bubs down and using a snot sucker or forcing paracetamol down - they WILL feel better/sleep better and be able to breathe after it so it's okay mummy! We are with you.

Leave baby to play alone - you watch baby playing but feel guilty that your not interacting - don't! Babies develop independence and also learn that you and them are not 1 person. Sit near baby but let them play...i don't mean all the time of course! Teaching them skills with toys is invaluable for hand eye coordination, thinking, learning etc but I'm talking about those moments where you want a coffee and they are not doing the puzzle right so you feel you must interject...just don't. They will learn. This is also valuable for later on in life when they are adults - it teaches them that they can be independent and don't need others to have fun. They can enjoy their own company.

'I'm so frustrated I want to kill him!' - yes we have all thought this or shouted it to a friend through tears of frustration (or at least a variation of it!) And it's OKAY! We all have moments after a massive tantrum, days of crying because of colic or hour upon hour of night wakes for months. You don't mean it and you'd never do anything to hurt your child (of course!) But sometimes your just so frustrated and say silly things. It's inevitable when your body hurts, months of sleepless nights catch up with you, hours of cleaning and crying have you feeling broken and on the brink of a breakdown....you are only human after all. So do something that'll relieve the stress and pressure. A massage, a bath, a glass of wine, cry or moan to a friend, whatever will help you. But know that your not alone and we know you love your little one more than anything and this is just a culmination of all frustrations into one moment.

They won't sleep at nap time - okay so drop a nap. My 10 month old has 3.5 to 4 hours between naps and bedtime. He wakes at 5am, naps at 9am (30min) then after lunch he naps at 12:30 or 1 (for around 1.5 to 2 hours) then wakes at 2:30pm or 3pm and only goes down at 6:30 or 7pm. I know anything over 4 hours means he gets over tired and anything under 3.5h means he isn't ready (unless he is sick and needs the extra sleep himself). It's also okay if baby falls asleep on your bed with you and then you transfer them to their bed/cot.

Giving your newborn cuddles DOES NOT SPOILT THEM! It's a necessity! Don't feel guilty for wanting to cuddle your baby and don't listen to others that say you shouldn't. It's YOUR BABY and YOU know what's best for them and for you. Your not creating a rod on your back, your meeting their needs. If you don't want to then that's okay too. Just do what is best for you and them. After all, they won't be little and want cuddles forever, trust me I know! I cuddled my little one every time he needed it and now he is a happy 10 month old that requires cuddles only when he is sick (just like you need a cuddle from your mum when your sick or down!). And yes they get separation anxiety but this too passes...believe me when they are 2 or 3 or 5 years old they won't want cuddles so try appreciate them when they do.

Everyone gives you advice on your baby and they all know better than you - No they don't! Even women who have had 10 children know nothing about YOUR baby so it's okay to ignore the advice and do what works for you. Like every adult, every baby is totally different, what works for one won't work for another, even siblings.

It's okay to take time for yourself while someone watches baby - you work hard mama so get a massage or have a loooooong bath with a glass of wine and a good book. The better you feel the better you can care for baby. Don't feel guilty for needing help or asking for it.

Bottle feeding is fine - don't feel guilty if you can't or dont want to breast feed. Everyone is different and so are their abilities. As long as baby is fead, happy and healthy then that's all that matters! So please don't feel guilty.

Don't judge and ignore people that judge you! - 'she doesn't breast feed' 'her child is a mess' 'she's going to work already' 'she quit work' 'she looks terrible' 'she feeds her baby from pouches instead of freshly cooked'- really?! Some mums say these things and others know that these things have been said about them. Don't judge other mums/dads, you don't know what they've been through or what they are going through at the moment. Support and ask if you can help or bring them some home cooked food, tell them they look amazing, as them if they need someone to watch their little one for an hour while they nap or take a long bath or go to the hairdresser. Reversley, ask for help and support.

Lastly, be kind to yourself! We all have tough days, tired days, needy days and cry me a river days - call your mum/friend/sister or whoever and moan, cry, scream - whatever will help you feel better. Just tell them in advance that you just need them to listen and not judge.

XOXO