What a week! Scared out of mind...

So my initial delight of finding out me and hubby are expecting has turned into sheer fear of losing our baby that we love so much already.

On Friday I was told by my GP and then confirmed with the midwives that I have type 2 diabetes. As I’m only 5 weeks 4 days- the chances it’s just gestational diabetes is slim. My blood sugar levels fasting are 6.4 which is pretty high. But because it’s so close to Christmas I can’t get into the diabetic clinic until the new year so I can only manage it on the intern by adjusting my diet so just going off what they said and what some diabetics sites are saying. But midwife said to me yesterday if I’m frank with you “ miscarriage is much higher with this risk”.

Then 2 nights ago I experienced some pink coloured spotting so presented to the ER- they took bloods to see if my HCG levels where ok and the where 4500. 3 days before they where 700 so definitely growing which I guess is reassuring. They also referred me to have an ultrasound yesterday.

The ultrasound showed the sac, the yolk sac and an embryo however no heart beat. I’m measuring at 5 weeks 3 days. Could it just be way to early to see a heartbeat? I’m booked back in on the 6th Jan to find the heartbeat. I’m wishing and hoping with all of my might that there is a heart beat and we can start relaxing.

I’m just feeling very overwhelmed and there’s so much to digest. All I want to a happy healthy baby and I’ll do anything to ensure this 🙏🤞