Adoption Discrimination??

Question

Hey Ladies. Iv noticed something (im a person of colour and trying to adopt soon so my hubby n i agreed we will adopt a kid or kids if they are siblings age range 0-5 of any race it just depends on who has a connection to us) Anyway my friend works at an Adoption agency and has worked at others too says our plan won't work because when Caucasians (white people) adopt kids and for instance if they adopt children of colour e.g black, asian or latino they are seen as saviors or people who are extra loving to take a kid outside their race.... But if a person of colour tries to adopt a Caucasian kid they are rudely told not to. Has anyone else witnessed the same thing?... Also let me make one thing clear im not taking sides.... Im not saying i want a Caucasian kid... Il take any one or two of them that want a mommy as much as i want kids 🥰 Anyway im a previous post someone also put a news article that said that adopting kids of color is cheaper than Caucasian kids in America so that's another form of discrimination i read about here.... So are there other stories you guys have heard?

Accepted Answer

Yes I have heard it and seen it.
If POC want to adopt, they’re pushed towards kids that “look like them”. I have heard of case workers refusing to match white babies with black parents. I have heard of black adoptive parents having cops called on them for kidnapping (there was an article recently where a mom opened up about a situation like that!) 
On the flip side. If white people adopt children of color, too many of them do so because of a savior complex. These are the parents who like airing out their children’s past to anyone who will hear it. These are parents who discard their adopted child’s culture and force them to assimilate (“we don’t see color”)... their hair will be mercilessly tamed while natural looks are insulted or called “unruly”/“nappy”, their skin will either be praised for being so light or side eyed as “soooo dark!” Their existence will be a card their parents wave around to prove “I’m not racist!” While doing and saying inherently racist things. 
I’ve seen and heard it all too many times. 
I think if a parent is going to adopt a child of a different color/culture, they should be required to take classes on that culture and learn how to teach their children about it. And I think that if the parents are open to doing that, then the color of the child’s skin shouldn’t be a problem when matching them.

Answer

Though I haven’t heard that it wouldn’t surprise me. I have heard that POC also wait longer than white people on average.
It’s absolutely disgusting. 😑

Answer

I’m not sure about that. I was an adoption social worker for five years and I never ran into this. Now I’m not saying it can’t happen but I would hope if there is no other reason (physical health, mental health, finances ) or any other red flags the agency should be ecstatic to work with you. I wish you the best of luck in your journey.

Answer

This is a topic that can get ... pretty passionate.
As an adoptee, I struggle with the dialogue. Adoption has recently become more about the adoptee and less about the adoptive parents and biological parents, which is how it should be. 
“The Primal Wound” would be a good book to pick up and read about adoption and the trauma that does exist because of it.
Adoption isn’t inherently a negative thing — but it isn’t sunshine and rainbows either. As a whole, the adoption and foster care system needs reform. It’s about money, not about the adoptees. Adoptees rights to information aren’t taken into consideration. Trauma that is caused by adoption needs to be talked about more. More programs for unification of families need to be in place. Discrimination does happen with POC and same-sex couples. Honestly there is a lot to unpack and change. 
All in all, I wish adoption wasn’t seen as a transaction — children aren’t meant to be bartered and paid for. 
So much change needs to happen.

Answer

I’d say it could depend on whether you’re adopting through an agency or foster care. I’ve never heard of a foster parent discouraged from adopting a child based on race. I am white and the foster parents I was with were black and they had adopted a few kids of different races. 
Adoption agencies in general are a little sketchy to me. Considering racism is quite prevalent, I expect it to branch into every aspect of life. Including adoption practices.

Answer

On black children “costing less”, it’s true in states and agencies that use race based costs. 
Unfortunately, black children are deemed “less desirable”. The fact is, the child with the lowest likelihood of being adopted is the black baby boy. 
It’s heartbreaking, and excellent proof that racism and the system built on racism is still very alive and well. 
Just because people look into adopting, doesn’t mean they’re saints.

Answer

I’m not sure if this is the article you’ve read, but NPR’s article “Six Words: 'Black Babies Cost Less To Adopt'” is informative. 
I placed a baby for adoption. I know I wanted to choose a white family because I didn’t want it to be obvious that she was adopted. I didn’t go through an agency, though. I think a lot of for profit adoption agencies are corrupt. I’m not familiar with many non profit ones, so I’m not sure.

Answer

Sadly, racism and discrimination exist. But that shouldn't stop you from being able to adopt. Especially if you are looking for older children I've heard there are often more children of color available to adopt. 
No matter what race, adoption is very expensive and lengthy. One of my friends ended up adopting embryos, which was much quicker and less expensive. She carried the embryos and gave birth to them a couple years apart. The kids are full sister and brother but not biologically related to her or her husband. 
I don't know your situation, but that might be an option you hadn't considered.

Answer

Well. The actual matter of the fact is where I am white children are harder to adopt in general. Harder to come by as in less available (sorry I hate talking about children like an item), and harder to adopt. Why that is I don’t know but it’s fact. Me as a white woman would have an easier time adopting a non white child Bcs they are more readily available

Answer

The only experience I have is a friend who is white and actually got a lot of push back about adopting a black girl, and actually had two taken away that she was fostering because she was white and the kids were native American. She had them for 2 years, was in the process of adopting them but a native family was open to foster and they removed them from my friend and replaced them. I guess I can understand wanting to keep the kids culture alive but I think the child finding a loving home has to come first. I believe fully that there is racism that goes both ways and I dont doubt that there will be road blocks for you. I hope you can push past them and be a mother to children who need a mommy. Sending prayers your way that you can have your children regardless of race. Kids dont care about race they care about love and safety, and I hope you can give that to them❤🥰

Adoption Discrimination??

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