Dear J.

I remember when I was 12 and you were 13

We were dating I was innocent and you pushed me around and treated me like shit

When I turned 13 and you were turning 15 we were on and off

You took me to my first concert

I was excited yet...

You drank a bit ..

You made my lips touch yours grabbed the back of my head pulled my hair (I still have panic attacks when someone does that )

With you hands on my hips to keep me in place

You dragged your tongue on my neck

Your hands on my breasts as I said

NO

LET

ME

GO

we haven’t talked since then

Last summer : I’m turning 15 you’re turning 16

We were at a beach Party after one of our beach cleanups ?

Remember a month ago we became friends moved on ?

Remember when you told me to take a sip too ?

Said it would be fun ?

It tasted like shit yet I chugged the beer anyways .

Remember when you drank too much again ?

And started dancing a little too close to me ?

Remember when I said : “ get off I have a boyfriend remember?”

I guess you didn’t remember when you groped me again and tongued me

I guess you completely forgot when you tried to put your hands down my pants

I couldn’t get you off me , I was too tipsy

Thank god my cousins where there to save the day and pulled you off me.

You know you scared me .

You ruined me

To this day I feel ashamed

You did it twice like it was some sort of game

Are you satisfied?

Are you satisfied that my ex didn’t believe Me ?

Said I wanted it if I was too tipsy ?

My shrink says I’m emotionally scared or some shit

Nobody can touch me like that without me freaking out or crying

So thank you J. Really

Thank you for ruining me