why does it take me so long?

(rape tw) okay so my boyfriend used to be able to make me cum fairly quickly, and its always by eating me out. i have never found fingering enjoyable, let alone enough to orgasm on. (i have a feeling this is bc i was raped when i was little and the rapist inserted his fingers into me so maybe my instincts kick in to associate bad things w that, idk.) lately though, we’ve been able to see each other more often and thus have more sex and that’s great n all but it’s now taking me 25+ mins just to orgasm, and i feel like my clit has become desensitized to it (?) and eventually i either just give up, ask him to fuck me, and end up not enjoying it bc i’m not wet enough bc no cum so it hurts, or i start getting upset that i feel like i’m boring him. either way the sex is ruined, and now my sex drive has decreased bc i know it’s gonna go badly. any advice?