Very down I the dumps

This whole week has been absolute shit I've have over 8 mental breakdowns I've been wanting to hurt myself I have memory problems but my family doesn't believe me. They constantly yell at me. Like just today j sent to do my laundry and be productive because I was bored so j went and got my laundry and was like " imma go put my laundry away and they start yelling at me for no reason I had a co.plete breakdown in my room. I had the door shut and locked because I was upset and did want to be disturbed to nom almost took the door off it's hinges and yelled at me about nothing. She kept blowing at me with those compressed air cans and I was holding my kitten cuz he wanted attention I asked her to stop so he doesn't get scared and claw me and the she yelled at me for having an attitude Like ?????? What???? How??? Why??? I don't get it. I CAN'T seem to please anyone and I hate myself for making everyone upset and sad and angry even though I did nothing wrong but I hate myself for tho king that because obviously I did so ethong wrong but no one will yep me what I did and I keep getting yelled at