New mom

As a new mom with a constantly crying newborn I’ve thought some things that I don’t mean. Now I can’t seem to forgive myself. I love my daughter to pieces and the constant thought keeps lingering in my head cause I can’t believe I thought that about her. I’m on the verge of wanting to do self harm because of it. Please tell me I’m not alone, I feel like a bad mom and it has me so depressed to the point where I couldn’t even get out of bed this am...