Do you think my bf is an alcoholic ? ( read story )

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. We don’t live together yet. We are in our mid 20s.
He goes to drink at this little bar that’s right by where he lives. He can literally walk to it. 
He goes there as soon as gets off of work everyday. Sometimes he only stays there for an hour, sometimes a few hours, and sometimes he stays there til midnight or later.  
This has been an issue in our relationship for a while. I personally don’t like it. I worry about his health, I worry about him getting hurt in some way, and I will be completely honest, I worry about the women that are there around him as well. I trust him, but thoughts run through my mind. 
The past couple weeks, I have had to work a lot and he was there everyday for 6+ hours everyday. 
I have asked him to stop going so much and he won’t. I have begged him, cried, argued with him and he won’t stop. I have at one point told him that I’d break up with him if he didn’t stop because I couldn’t stand it. And he didn’t care. 
So it makes me feel like I come second to drinking. He says that he doesn’t have a problem. He actually jokes about it and thinks it’s funny that I think he has a problem. BUT I THINK HE DOES. 
On days we can be together and spend time together, he will leave me for an hour or so to drink. Or I’ll go with him sometimes, but I’m not much of a drinker. I can’t drink every single day. 
I just worry about him. And I also feel like we canr have a normal relationship. I want to be serious with someone, I want to live with someone and eventually get married and have kids. But it seems like all he wants to do is drink. 
We have been together for so long and we used to be best friends and have a really good relationship. I don’t know what to do. 
Do you think he has a problem? Or am I overreacting?

Answer

Yes, he's an alcoholic. When you have to drink everyday, you are an alcoholic.

Answer

If he doesn’t see that he has a problem then you are best breaking up. It can take years for him to even realise it and then longer to want the help he will need to stop drinking. I guess its also a social thing for him since he drinks in a bar. His friends will probably encourage him to stay for one more. This will only get worse if you stay with him.

Answer

He told you he doesn’t care if you leave him because of his drinking and your staying why ?

Answer

I think he is but regardless, this is clearly a big issue and he doesnt care what you think and doesnt intend on changing. This isnt the right relationship for you. Hes not the right person. You need to move on. You cant force him to change but you can choose to live a happier and healthier life without him.

Answer

If he drinks each and every single day more than just a few beers, he is definitely an alcoholic. But are you certain that he is drinking once he’s there? It seems expensive to go to a bar every single day rather than buy your own alcohol to take home. I would err on the side of caution in regards to his habits. He may be well off financially, but if that isn’t the case, you need to be sure he isn’t going there to see anyone else.
If you don’t believe that he wants the same things you do (marriage, children/family, living together as a family/couple), it is time for you to walk away. If you’ve voiced your concerns and he blatantly ignores them, he doesn’t respect you or your relationship. He may love you, but he doesn’t sound like he wants or cares to make you happy.

Answer

If you aren’t happy and getting what you feel you deserve then move on. Plain in simple. Life is too short there are many great men out there. You canMt change someone if they don’t want to be changed.

Answer

Alcoholics never want to admit, especially when they are young, that they are indeed alcoholics. You’re boyfriend is very much an alcoholic and doesn’t see the issue. Please be careful as I was with one for 6 years and it turned disastrous. He did not want to change, he did not want help, he turned very toxic throughout the years. Be careful.

Answer

When someone’s alcohol use is interfering with their life, they have a problem. If he is unwilling to cut down on his drinking for you, that is without a doubt a sign he sees little value in your relationship compared to alcohol. Whether or not he is a full blown alcoholic, he is not a good partner to you. He might not be the worst alcoholic because he doesn’t wake up and take a drink, but he seems to have a dependence. I would be willing to bet if he was unable to go to the bar or have a drink for a day he would be on edge if not sick. Some people come home and like to have have a beer or a glass of wine (or 2) from work everyday, but don’t necessarily have a problem. His life seems to somewhat revolve around drinking, and he isn’t willing to make any changes to that. Big, big red flags.
You have made it clear that you aren’t happy with things and he has made it clear that he doesn’t really care. I think you need to make it clear that if a change doesn’t happen, you will leave. See how he reacts to that.

Do you think my bf is an alcoholic ? ( read story )

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