Any advice on how I can help her?

Question

Warning: this is about my friend having a miscarriage, don't read it if you're sensitive to this topic.

My best friend just had her second miscarriage in a year. How can I help her? What can I say that will be encouraging? What should I never ever say? I love her dearly and hate seeing her go through this. She blames herself. She says she won't even try to get pregnant again cause she can't handle this again. Any advice? Are there things I can say to help her? Are there things I can do? It just doesn't seem fair for me to have had my little guy recently and she has to suffer through this.

Answer

I would let her know that there is no way that is her fault. A woman miscarriage around 283 times in their lifetime but never know because it looks more like a period. Let her know that there are other women going through this as well and they do get their raimbow baby, for some takes a while for others just a little time but knowing that the Lord has a better plan for those little Angels helped me a lot to go through the pain of loosing mine. Depending on the type of person she is she may need time alone to just deal with it and probably. Also try to keep unnecesary people away from her. Good luck with everything

Answer

Something better is coming for her-these babies just weren't ready. It doesn't mean they're less special or less important than babies born, they just weren't ready to be. Her strength is being built for something bigger-she may have to help a dtr through this, or speak to others about the preciousness of their gift. She's going to appreciate her ability to create and bear children on a higher level than women it's come easily to, which will further manifest in her relationship with her kids. This is a terrible and incredibly sad thing for someone to experience ONCE, let alone multiple times, but it's not the end. Motherhood isn't over for her. She's hurting right now, it's normal to pull back and turn away from the source of your pain, but her drive to be a mother will soon override and she'll be brace enough to push forward again.

Answer

just let her know your there for her day or night, no matter how long the grief process takes. accept that on both of her estimated due dates, providing she was far enougn along to know them, she's gonna be upset. remind her of her other good points and that its ok to feel how she feels. this will be important when she feels helpless cause she knows she needs to move on but cant seem too. mostly just listen and dont feel guilty about your own happiness. im sure she wouldnt want you to. :)

Any advice on how I can help her?

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