Feeling lonely.

Miscarriage is not something that I ever thought would happen to me.

Started Thursday, little cramping brown discharge and some back pain. It didn’t alarm me as I had the same in my first pregnancy.

Monday came along. I was at work when I felt a rush between my legs. I felt my pants and it was bright red blood. I ran to the bathroom and then called my doctor. I was admitted to the er where I had a hcg count, ultrasound and a cervix check. There was no heartbeat, abnormal fluid, very high hcg count, and my cervix was open. The bleeding slowed.

I went home at had my doctors appointment on Wednesday.

Wednesday at the appointment I felt another rush and bled through all my clothes again. I was supposed to provide a urine test but completely forgot to urinate in the cup as I was frantically cleaning the blood. I sat back down and pushed a little hoping I would be able to push out a little urine. I felt a large clump come out into the cup.

The doctor collected the cup and sent it off to pathology. She did an exam and had to call in the nurse I was bleeding through several chucks. I was sent immediately for an emergency d & c. While under anesthesia she told my husband I was measuring ahead to 10 weeks rather than 8 weeks. She was concerned about how large everything was when doing the d&c. We won’t know more until the results come back.

Today has been tough pain wise. My body feels like I have been in a really bad car accident. It’s suddenly just hitting me that I really am no longer pregnant. I feel as though my husband is being helpful but doesn’t understand the way I would like him to.