Post partum body

I’ve been trying to stay positive but it’s really hard with stretch marks and my stomach all flabby and gross. I thought I was doing good with putting lotion on them it didn’t look like I had to many till after I gave birth. I’m embarrassed to get undressed in front of my spouse. I’m constantly wondering and worrying what he thinks of my body now. I want to start eating better and working out but I can’t seem to pull myself together. I’m exhausted because I’m getting little sleep and my hormones are all over the place. I keep my feelings buried inside bc I don’t want people to know my insecurities. It just seems like I’m losing to an impossible battle.