My husband has checked out 😢

I’m sitting in my bedroom writing this, as my husband has decided to go out and go grocery shopping at almost 9 pm at night with our 2 year old daughter.

My husband and I have been married for 7 years and have a 2 year old and I’m pregnant with twins. Ever since my husband found out that we were expecting twins he has emotionally checked out of our marriage. We don’t have sex, he didn’t do anything for our 7 year anniversary, he’s thoughtless and lazy. It’s like he’s a whole different person now.

pregnancy is hard, and carrying multiples has been excruciatingly painful and exhausting. I try my best to clean the house (it’s so hard with 3 levels), take care of our daughter and work full time. But my husband doesn’t help around the house, he doesn’t ever pick up our daughter from daycare or drop her off. He doesn’t want to buy baby stuff or get ready for the twins.

All he cares about is things that are important to him. For example, he won’t even put his dirty clothes in the hamper for me to wash, but he found the time to redo the downstairs “mancave” in one weekend.

When I got incredibly sick with the flu during my first trimester and couldn’t stop vomiting for 12 hours I had to drive myself to the ER. I sat in the waiting room alone in afraid and embarrassed, vomiting into a bag for 5 hours before being seen. I was released at 5 am the next morning, exhausted and barely able to keep my eyes open.

I have been asking him to please put all the baby stuff from the garage into the babies room (it’s 2 floors up) and still it all sits. But he has the time to do his beekeeping and go out for drinks after work with his friends.

I don’t expect him to fawn over me but he has no empathy whatsoever. He didn’t care that I failed my one hour glucose test and cried over it. He told me to “stop eating sweets”.

I honestly feel like I really don’t love him anymore and I can’t believe he’s turned into this person I don’t know. I stopped telling him I loved him and he has done the same. He doesn’t even say a word when he leaves the house anymore he just goes. It makes me sad that this has happened to our relationship because we used to be so in love.

It makes me wonder if it’s all because of the twins or is it something else? I am like 99% sure he’s not cheating because he never goes anywhere except work and home (lazes about) and he works in a machine shop with zero women. Online all he does is shop, he never even talks to anyone except like to meet up and buy stuff. He’s actually like a really boring guy lol.

Has this happened to anyone else? Is my relationship doomed or will things get better once the babies come ? I keep trying to talk to him about it and he either gets respect defensive or offended or he just says “we will figure it out” which makes no sense to me. Please help.