My daughter isn’t mine by blood, but I’ve stepped up and raised her. Her mom lost rights while she was an infant. So her dad and I have custody. I’m Mom by all counts, until her moms side grandma comes into the picture. Then I’m just the stepmom.

We’ve had some issues with her being honest.

She’s a good kid, great athlete, and very well liked at school for being responsible and kind.

She just started middle school.

But, a few months ago we discovered she had Snapchat. She had a 19 year old on there - her profile thing said she was 17, and although she’s in junior high, she’s tall and looks older. (Naturally a very skinny tall pretty girl, she’s already taller than me) she also had a boyfriend we knew nothing about (a friend of her brothers), and was on an online game like sims (some dollhouse game) sexting grown men. She also had visited porn sites. She’s barely in her double digits, and I’m already having a stroke.

This was after spending two weeks with her older brother, who is a freshman in high school.. her moms older son, that lives with his grandma.

We pulled her to the police office, and explained all the horror stories that could of happened. We didn’t stop there, we took her phone, and she lost out on all social life. No sports. No dances. No sleepovers. Her grades went down during that time, and we got her back to honor roll real quick also.

She’s worked hard and proved she learned a lesson.

She got her phone back, under the stipulation she had to let us do random checks and no apps, aside a few games we approve.

She spent time with her older brother recently, the first since all of that. We found pictures where she was fully dressed, but posing with her leg in the sink and she looked too grown. we also found several text convos where she cleared out the content - again one of them being that brothers friend. She claims photos were for her friend, a girl, showing her new clothes. But the texts are a red flag.

What advice do you all have? Phones gone, don’t know for how long. Her dad took it. He also isn’t letting her see her brother. She can’t go to her grandmas either now because it’s every time she’s there we have this stuff come up.

Update/

Her and I talk a lot, we also have a mother to daughter journal for open communication also, for things she’s not sure how to ask etc. I ask a lot before I make decisions with kids on how to tailor the punishment to what they’ve done.