I’m pregnant and he’s been cheating the whole time

To be honest, I just really need to vent because I feel like if I keep it in, I’m gonna start crying and this guy is NOT worth my tears. I’ve had a really..... REALLY..... BAD DAY.

I’ve been with this guy on and off for 11 years, but we have been officially back together since May 5, 2018. When I tell you he was my world, I would literally change the stars in the sky for him if I could. While we have been together, I have moved away from my family, rented a place with him his mom and his brother and I’ve been living there for most of our relationship.

Throughout our relationship I have caught him talking to girls, flirting with them, trying to meet up but I swept it under the rug because I loved him so much. Come 2019, I got pregnant three times. Twice I had a miscarriage and I am now 13 weeks pregnant. Each pregnancy, it has been battling with him over texting girls, making secret social media accounts, sending dick pics to girls and just doing everything in the book but actually going to have sex with them (at least I think). He has said nasty things to me to make me feel like I deserve this, he has done things that make me question myself like “am I not pretty enough?” “What is wrong with me?”

So today, like many other days, he steals money from me to go get drunk. When he’s drunk, he is fighting with me about how he thinks I sleep around and how he picked the wrong girl to be with forever and get pregnant. After all the fighting I finally stand up for myself and tell him to get the fuck out and stay away from me. So he gets ready and calls someone over to pick him up and take him a few cities away.

I text him on his profile and let him know I want to break up and that I’m going to pack my stuff and leave and then his profile requests a video chat. A girl pops up on the screen and says, “I just want to know, who is this?” So I said, it’s his baby mama, you can have him.

Immediately I get out of that house, I pack my stuff, ruin some of his stuff and go to my moms in tears. After this, the girl texts me again trying to talk to me about the situation and I told her what was going on with me and him and she comes out telling me all this stuff about how he has been texting her the whole time saying things like “when I see you I’m gonna nut in you and get you pregnant. I love you, I wanna drop everyone to be with you” and she said she didn’t even know I lived in his house or was together with him the entire time.

Now there is so much more to the story but pretty much, I come to realize that the only reason he wasn’t in a relationship with this girl is because she was very strong minded and didn’t let him push her around. That’s when he came to me to be with me....

I feel like I can’t even be mad at this girl because he lied to her just like he did to me. There’s so much that shows me I was just a replacement for the one he couldn’t control. He was only with me because he knew he could manipulate me. I’m currently curled up in a ball, hugging my stomach fighting back tears. He never wanted a family with me. He really meant it when he said he picked the wrong girl. That’s what makes everything so final.

I loved him for so damn long and I really believed he loved me and maybe he did a long time ago, but he only kept me around because I was the booty call that he had full reign over and no one else would let him have that control.

My poor baby... I feel like it’s just me and my baby against the world. I feel like I don’t have anyone to call on because he chased away all my friends and my family. I hate even crying because he is soooo not worth it. I don’t want to stress me or the baby out. Tonight I learned a lot about the man I thought I would be with forever and I can never look at him the same way ever again. Please pray for us. I need the good energy. 😞