How being raped made me change

I believe raped when I was 12 by a boy I knew, I was about to I turn 13 and he was 15 and the time. He was a good guy, well I thought. But I think it has changed me. Now I am very ticklish and if you touch my ankles I freak. Like kick, like I can’t control it. When people touch me I feel weird, it’s been years and I don’t know what is happening. It’s scary sometimes because I believe it’s my fault. If I had not been so flirty or showy, just that is what my older friends where doing, I wasn’t having sex or doing anything sexual at the time but I had kissed and people said I acted older for my age. Some times I blame my self. I reported it but nothing can happened because I don’t remember it or know what happened. Just him say I fuck her so good and taking about birthmarks that I have that you normally can’t see. It’s scary, i don’t know if it happened or if it didn’t. I feel different though. I don’t know if I should say that I got raped or not because it has changed me. Like has just been different since then.