Another cheating husband.. long post!!

Hey y'all! You might have read my first post (Another cheating husband..) well I thought I might just update some of you who might have been curious or not 🤷‍♀️ but to also tell more of my story.

So if I remember correctly the last I spoke of was how I told my dad, he was going to help me with a lawyer, and my husband didn't know I knew anything yet about this woman.

..well over Thanksgiving week (yes that's how long it has been 😅) he had some time off so it was super awkward in our house. I kept trying to stay to myself but obviously that just doesn't work. So one night after I got both boys to sleep I go to take a nice hot bubble bath. He comes in and says to me "we need to talk" and as soon as he said that anger and confidence just raged through me. So I stop watching my show, and sit up and I ask if this was about so and so (I said her name but for privacy reasons I won't put it out there) and he looked shocked that I knew! So since he was like just blown away by my reply I told him how I've seen some of the stuff going on with him 'hearting' her pictures on facebook, how I found it odd that he never mentioned her but he mentions all the other office ladies, and how I saw the text she sent him a couple days ago. I thought at this point my husband was going to have a damn heart attack! So he tells me a bunch of bullshit excuses, we obviously got into a huge fight and I mean huge! I told him how I've been speaking with lawyers already, and I'm ready to move forward with a divorce. We go to sleep in seperate rooms, and basically didn't talk much for a couple days. So Thanksgiving day comes and we go to my aunt's house like normal, at this point I'm sure my mom and dad has said something to my family but I haven't personally told anyone else besides my parents. So no one said anything, it was just awkward. That night my husband starts getting mad and starts crying about how he doesn't want to lose me, that the girl doesn't mean nearly as much as our family does. You know the typical cheater BS. And I'm sticking my ground this whole time and tell him no we are done. Like I can't trust him!! So December 1st he leaves. His work supplies apartments to guys who don't live near by, so he had it worked it out to stay in one. We told our toddler how daddy just had to be away for work, so it nothing he wasn't use to and the boys did get to see him. He came over and spent time with them. At this point I'm having a really hard time. I think with just the holidays and everything it just made me feel super emotional. So I told my family finally, they are really supportive. And when I told my husband about telling them he broke down again. So we started talking a little more. We agreed to stay separated not legally or anything just he would stay in the apartment for now. So then we started marriage counseling, the girl quit her job once my husband told her everything and how he didn't want to pursue anything. Which yes she did work there with him. And I have confirmed that she did indeed quit.

So yes, we are working on our marriage to this day. We go to counseling once a week, after Christmas he moved back home, we were sleeping in seperate rooms still but that didn't really last long since we were advised sleeping together is better or else it still divides us. But we have not had sex, which I think makes it hard too but I'm just not ready to. He swears he never did anything with her besides kiss and maybe grabbed her ass or vaginal area but never did it go any further. I do still love him a lot, I want this to work, but I also have lost a serious amount of trust for him, I've lost confidence in myself, I feel like I'm a completely different person. I've been cheated on before in regular relationships, but when your spouse cheats on you especially when you have kids it hits you in a whole completely different way. So I will be starting some counseling sessions for myself to work out what I'm going through and we will still go for the both us until we feel ready to quit. My husband no longer goes out of town for work, so he's home every night which makes a huge difference. I am happy, I mean we are getting through this, but it's also hard some days still.

I know a lot of you will probably bash me for staying and working it out. Which I don't blame you for doing so. It's hard to understand until you've been in this position. I use to get so angry at other women for going back, but when you're married, when this completely throws you off because you never would have expected, and when you have kids involved, its different from getting cheated on from a regular boyfriend at 16 or whatever. But yeah, there you have it.