Weight issues!

For reference I’m 17 and around 5’6 and I have weighed between 150-185 in the past 3 years and is been a really hard journey. I lost wayyy too much weight when I was depressed and had an eating disorder and I was still overweight back then and not healthy. Fast forward a few years and I was hitting 185 my highest weight I have ever been and I still looked exactly the same as I do now at 170. I would say I don’t look 170 at all and I don’t know what I should theoretically look like if I wasn’t overweight. Although I hate my body and am unhappy with my weight I feel like if I were to change anything I wouldn’t be myself. Even when I was doing sports and eating healthy I wasn’t happy doing it. I also was still technically overweight even when I was an extreme athlete. Anyways what should I do about learning to love myself as I am and getting over the fact I will never look the way I want to?