*trigger* I was raped by my fiance and manipulated into having a child

*Possible trigger warning*

This is very hard for me to talk about and I actually feel like such a terrible person.  About 2 years ago my fiancé and I were having an amazing night together.  We drank in our apartment and I had a little too much and passed out.  I woke up the next morning completely naked and asked him what happened.  He ended up showing me this video of me while I was passed out.  I was at first in the shower and he was filming himself touching me.  Then he goes to the next video and he was forcing himself on me.  He was doing things to me that I never would have normally accepted.  He was shoving a body spray bottle inside me and was being very rough.  After I watched the video he goes “I was drunk too.”

Then we never talked about it again.  More abuse (emotional and mental) transpired.  I craved his love so badly and I just wanted a happy family.  One day when I was about to leave, he told me he wanted to have a baby.  I have always wanted to be a mom and he knew that.  I didn’t realize back then that he manipulated me into having a child with him.

My daughter is now 11 months old and I am just starting to come to terms with what happened to me.  I found he still has those videos in his phone and I realized what he did was rape.  And I am not okay.

He doesn’t understand why I feel that way and why I am now having such a hard time, but I don’t think I love him anymore.  I feel terrible that I let so much time pass by and I feel like this is all my fault because I didn’t stand up for myself when it happened.  But I think I need to now- for me and for my daughter.

Can someone please offer me advice?  I am really having a hard time. Should I just drop it and try to move on?