Advice please 😭

I had a miscarriage in June 2018 and I just found out about a week ago that I was pregnant. But today when I’m about 5 weeks 4 days I started bleeding. I went to the er and they said they couldn’t see a baby because it’s too early but they could see the gestational sac and my hcg level was 5500 (which they said is normal for where I should be right now). But my bleeding got heavier and I’m cramping like I’m on my period. I don’t have my ob appointment until the 30th. I’m just so sad and I don’t know how to handle my emotions. I don’t want to get any hate for saying this but I just feel like I’m most likely losing this baby too and I wish it would either happen or I would stop bleeding because I just want to get the pain over with. I want to know my baby is gone so I can lose myself again. I’m so sad and I hate myself because I know there’s something wrong with me.