My boyfriend came home last night and said a coworker and her bf invited us out for mini golf Sunday for a double date. I’ve had problems with her in the past because I thought she was being flirty towards my bf. It’s resolved now, but I still don’t know how I feel about her or about Sunday. My bf said “I know how you feel about her, and we don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” Anyway, I agreed to go Sunday since I thought I’d give her a fair chance. I mean, she does seem nice and all that. I have to remind myself girls and guys can be friends too. I just find it so weird how she’s suddenly in his life all the time now since bf and I moved into our apartment in September. I think I just have trust issues tbh because during the period my bf and I were going through a rough patch, I accused him of cheating with her, went through his phone, found nothing and he told me he wasn’t (been together 5 years). Help me understand why I can’t get the thought out of my head? Thinking about her makes me sick to my stomach. I like to think a lot of people are this way with some girls. Just having girls you don’t like and can’t explain why.

I really need like a juice press for my brain. I’m struggling day in and day out with my insecurities to the point where I have to talk myself into leaving the house if I’m not working. Been cooped up for 3 days and finally convinced myself to go out for fresh air today.