Just argued with my bf

My boyfriend and I have been living together for just about a year now. Recently I quit my job and I am getting over depression and anxiety, and guilt. Me being out of work puts enough tension on our relationship to be noticed. Since we have been dating, I have lost touch with good friend, my mom moved out and m brother and I stopped being as close as we've been in the past. All this has been really tough for me, and I have been leaning on my relationship for support. That's what i tend to do in relationships. My boyfriend can be caring and understanding and he's improving on his patience. When we end up arguing, its always over small stuff. Its usually over something that I said that he took the wrong way, and it pushes him over the edge. He starts a full on argument and raises his voice, and I freeze. I stay quiet, try to calm him down. I get embarrassed and confused and threatened all in one moment. I have no idea how to argue back or if i should or if i really should apologize. None of that matter because I'm paralyzed with fear. This only frustrates him more, which leads to him calling me out on irrelevant things and pissing me off until he gets it all off his chest. Meanwhile I'm too afraid to stand up for myself. I think I'm afraid of losing him, if i stand up for myself then maybe he'll feel threatened and leave or love me less. I realize that these are unhealthy pattern to put myself through. I know I'm probably making this a bigger deal than it is. Truth is I have no real friends i can trust and with me not working I've been pretty bored and that makes me go off the deep end sometimes. I just wish i had a group of good girls to boost me up and talk me thru things sometimes. I have never really had that and I would not know where to start looking for some friends. I've got a cat named Niles and he's a real good listener but his advice is for the birds.

Thanks for reading. Sorry for the rant. But i feel a little more relaxed just letting all that out.