My bestfriend and I are talking about this right now. I recently got out of a 11 year long abusive relationship. It's taken me more tries than I can count, I'd leave and go right back. She is aware of my past. Aware that I was raised fighting for my life daily. My step father continuously beat me. I was in and out of the hospital at least 3 times a year as a child. Once into my teenage years, I learned to fight back. I left when I was almost 17 and finally bought a car. I lived in my car for a year while getting my life back on track. I worked two jobs while finishing high school as well as cosmetology school while living in my car.

After 9 years together, had a child with my abuser. A son. He is 10 months old now. This is what finally pushed me to leave. I realized that I will not allow him to become his father. I am kind and empathetic. I question everything and think hard before I speak. I can do a better job parenting alone than with his father. I am calmer without him. I have an extensive amount of patience now that I'm not walking on eggshells.

My bestfriend believes that the reason I tend to gravitate towards the wrong type of man is because it's what I know. Among other things. I argue that I know better. Always have, because of that upbringing. I knew the red flags. I allowed everything he did to me. So why did it take so long for me to leave? I'm aware of my ability to make it. I know myself enough to know that I could have left and made it in the world.

So do you believe a person is more likely to be in an abusive relationship if abused as a child. Or that they are more likely to see the signal and stear clear?

(Please answer poll using title question)