Speaking out(stop the abuse)

So I never really told anyone how I survived a very abusive relationship. This is something I went thru when I was young and made the strong woman that I am today! I would like to write my own book one day to help women because I know it was hard for me especially when you have no one...... its a bit long ama try and make it short as possible sorry girl must read tho:)

* So this all started when I was very young about 16 just turning 17 I met this guy where I used to leave we had a lil family party and this guy showed up I thought nothing of it we got each others number n we started talking he was a lil older (23)than me but age has never been nothing but a number to me so any way well we start dating a lil after maybe three months of talking I honestly never planned to stay with that guy since I was very young, I also had someone else in mind at the time. This guy and me starting seeing eachother more like everyday he got along with all my family as so did I. At the time I was still leaving with my parents(mom) as soon I turn 18 things changed at home we even moved from home n I got kicked out a lil after that, I was still with this guy at the time I couldnt be more than happy when he told me I could stay with him. We stayed at his step dads house for a minute, while we were attending collage and working long story short a lil after that we got our own home that we saved up for at this time he was this nice loving caring bf. I believe I got my own home at 19 almost 20 I was living the life!!!! So let me remind u at the time we moved in to our own home we had already leave together for about a year or so. And I believe it does take time to get adjusted to living with someone.... well after a year of living in our home he started being very verbal abusive calling me names he would take off any time he could I felt like y do I gotta leave when its my home but idk he would just want to leave. I got to the point that I was like okay he wants to leave ill give him his space so I started leaving here and there with my girl friends. He started telling me stuff of me going out so I stood home n he started staying home but he also started to hit me punch me and stuff I felt like maybe he was cheating on me he was always on his phone and would accused me of stuff idk I had a gut feeling but no proof well another year or so passed things were getting worst so I called it and moved out by my self because I don't have family I can just go stay with or anyone I would stay their but since at the time I was working hard two jobs I thought wat the hell Im better of alone and not getting beat... but he some how kept talking to me, he told me he'll never do it again, would bring me roses every day, take me to eat all this so call changed man (yea right!) But I was so blind young and in love, that was like my first love, I guess we knew everything about one another so I was stupid enough to give him another chance we moved back together it was only matter of time.... we were good for a couple of months till one day it got so bad he punch me in the head and I blacked out, cops were involved, he got a court ordered to go to therapy for a year. I was still with him like a dumbasss and I did see some changes (while he was going)he would bring me flowers we'd go out on this beautiful dates. once he finish like three months later he switched up again and boom!!! He start acting shady calling me names again coming home from work super late he would always come home at 5 than he started coming home at 7 then 8 one time 9 I started asking questions since he was always on the phone n he did have a lock on it so I couldn't check any who its not like I was tho I hate doing stuff like that. He change like a whole 360 he would go on weekends to supposedly his mom's house but it was every weekend. We would fight every day about anything and everything n of coarse the name callings too their was so many times he would try to chock me with my charger cord or his own hands , slap me .. we would actually get down like two man fighting I always had bruses. He would tell me he hated me he wished I died than he would tell me he loves me n I was his world n all this stuff but at that point I was so done so anything he said I didnt believe him no more or trust him. I didnt want to tell anyone cuz I felt embarrassed I didnt want anyone to judge me but I started to open up to one of my siblings he of course told me to leave too... low key I started looking for a new place cuz I didnt have no where to go even if I wanted to leave. I would pray every night for god to give me a sign of him cheating cuz I had none other then my gut feeling and dreams I would have n when I dream of stuff they happen so I just knew!! Well at this point I was 21 turning 22 sick and tired of life and living I got to the point I thought of killing myself than I knew I had to get out asap.

God heard my prayers and one day this guy came home from work we were just chillin watchin tv he had just got home so he changed his clothes n I guess forgot his phone in the bedroom and I went in our room to get something when I see his phone on the bed. Its not like I could get in it anyway lol he had a lock on it but for so reason I picked it up n I was gonna go give it to him like a good gf when I look at it and I see it flashing so I look what it was n he had all this messages from this girls I mean long conversations and like they been hanging out too so I confronted him n he deny deny deny everything when I seen it with my own eyes like wtf!!!!! Did I mention while all this is going on I kept finding condoms in his car I mean everywhere in the car they were closed but still we never used them and I had them all so where n how was he getting them in the car he would tell me oh they were their already but didnt make sense till I seen those messages!! Very sneaky!!! I thought the whole time it was only me since he would always come home to me but yea... when I asked him about this girls he deny for a while n I asked y didnt u just tell me when I would ask like I felt something was wrong! He told me he never did anything with them blah blah blah I moved out n the night before I moved out he cryed all night like a baby I mean all night the next morning I moved out n took my stuff. I found out by neighbors friends that he had already another girl over At the house. I left the house and alot of stuff to him I just wanted out of that relationship dont get me wrong we loved each other but I didn't want to die this young especially to an unfaithful man. I know my worth! *Well I am 23 almost 24 its been over a year that I moved from that I have found a great man. This relationship is alot different ever since we hooked up he has always showee me his messages I dont even ask him to or nothing or he'll have me text me its so much different in different ways but I definitely learned you dont have to take anything from anyone especially a man putting his hands on you!!! Still to this day I sometimes flinch thinking ama get hit by my man n he looks at me and smiles n reminds me he aint never gonna lay hands on me n I know he wont! I love my man Im glad I found him