Not exactly postpartum anymore cause I gave birth in August but it started shortly after.

I'm 19 and at the start of September, about a month after I gave birth to twins, I started feeling super irritated and angry all the time. I'd get annoyed and frustrated over everything and at first I thought I was just tired and stressed cause of the babies but they sleep through the night now and I'm actually managing to get good amounts of sleep but I'm just so touchy.

I keep lashing out at my fiance and I always feel horrible about it because he doesn't deserve it but its like I can't control my emotions. I get annoyed at every little thing he says and does, and its not just him, I feel this way with my friends and my parents and siblings too.

I feel like a monster, I want to lock myself in the nursery because the only people who I don't get mad at are our kids, they're the only people who keep me calm. As soon as anyone else talks to me I feel on edge and the minute they say or do the tiniest annoyance I feel like a pot boiling over.

This isn't who I am, I don't know why I'm feeling and acting like this. I'm on the autism spectrum and I've got Anxiety and Depression and I'm on medication for those. But I've never been angry like this before. I've always been a pretty calm, mild, quiet and introverted person. I don't feel like myself.

I feel horrible and everyone is being so patient with me but I can tell that they're scared to even talk to me. I don't qant my loved ones to be afraid of me. I don't want to act like this. I don't know what's wrong with me.