SELF HARM TRIGGER WARNING

Today, I relapsed with my self harm after a year clean. I’m so disgusted with myself and I don’t know what to do. I don’t have a therapist anymore and the mental healthcare in my country is absolute shit. I’m so tired of being alive and I can’t tell whether this is an actual issue or if I’m just stressed. I’ve felt myself slipping for a long time, but I’m a senior in high school so shouldnt I have better coping mechanisms by now? My parents have spent so much money and effort on getting me the help that I need and I feel like I completely threw it away. I genuinely hate myself right now.

I think I’m going to talk to my counselor tomorrow but I’m so scared that he’s going to tell my parents.