I am very much an empath. I find myself trying to carry the world for others, or go above and beyond for others that don't do the same for me. I have always been a loving and caring person, and I am loyal to a fault, but all this has done is drain me. No matter what I always end up the one feeling bad and trying to step up and fix relationships that I never broke to begin with. I am always running back and fourth to help family when they are in need. Pretty much just non stop helping others with their problems.

With TTC for the past few months, wanting a baby so badly, and dealing with some other things, I noticed that I want to spend more and more time just to myself, with my own company. Laying around watching tv, reading a book, things that make me happy.

No, I don't think or feel depressed, I just honestly feel exhausted and mentally drained.. I have let go of my health since July, gained 20lbs, and stopped working out so I haven't been feeling like myself. So you can imagine trying to get dolled up when you feel the total opposite is difficult. So I am working on getting back into the swing of a healthy life style.

I have felt more then ever that I need a recharge. I decided to deactivate social media for a little while, and finally I am going to reach out to a counselor this week. I just feel like I need to talk and vent out all my frustration to someone that is going to genuinely listen.

I know I am rambling on, but I love having this platform to vent to others and relate to you all and of course not be judged for doing so. Yes I do have a few amazing best friends, but sometimes I hate being a burden to them and packing on my struggles onto their plate.

Thank you ladies for listening and if you have any words of encouragement, or care to relate or suggest any self care books or things you do to takw care of yourself that would be amazing.💖