I really need to vent it out because I want it to get out of mind before I go to sleep.

My breast pumping machine just stopped working today. I had to call out of work for that so I could go see my lactation consultant and talk to her about all those temporary solutions for continuing my milk supply for my son meanwhile my new replacement is being ordered.

I tried to be not super stressful over all that. I tried to stay positive and kept myself strong for myself and my son. So, I explained the grave situation to my mother which is my son’s grandma. She totally freaked out on me that I might couldn’t come in to work even though my boss, thank God, is totally understanding of my situation and she is totally supporting me.

I just whatever at my mom. Apparently, the tension was still there coming from her because she came at me while I tried to put my son to sleep and freaked out on me again, for another reason that I “ruined” her saucepan. It’s not even that bad and the sticky residue from oatmeal can be removed. I told her “Excuse me, do you mind not speaking to me in that manner in the front of my son???”

I just decided to lock the door so she wouldn’t have to barge in and freak out on me over other silly things. Apparently, it was not working because she knocked on the door wildly, more likely banging like a fucking ape when I tried to put him to sleep! What the hell?

I approached her and told her to just chill out and that my son is trying to sleep. She went wildly at me all like “That’s it! You and your son are going to be out of my home! I don’t care!”

Mind you, my son and I are only staying at her home temporarily until my place is ready to be moved in a few weeks. I was hurt and shocked like “Wow, would you really kick us out when we have no other place to stay??”

Her ungodly rage toward me, it was just awful. From that moment, I knew I will have to cut her out of my life as soon as we leave her place. I can’t let her toxicity be constant in the sight when my son grows up and see her mistreat me instead of come to me like a mother to a mother. She lost my respect big time. It saddens me that my son and her won’t have that grandmother and grandson bond. I used to be abused really bad by her when I was a child. It was not just a spanking. It was the whole emotional and physical abuse. Now I seen that old side out of her again and apparently, she never changes. I’m afraid she would might hurt my son if I never cut her out of my life.

As a mother, I must protect my son at any cost. I wish my mom nothing but the best of luck with her life.