Ok I just really need to talk to someone about this....I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 25. We've been dating for a year and two months. We've had our issues but what relationship doesn't? I have depression and anxiety and it's not exactly easy for me to express myself. But I've been trying but sometimes I just get so discouraged and I fall back into the same habits. And, it's frustrating him because he feels like I'm not trying. So that's basically the back ground information of our relationship. Today was one of the worst days I've ever had in this relationship. I asked if he wanted to meet up because I only had a morning class then I was free until the afternoon he agreed. So I got in his car and he's like silent and looks angry so I asked him what's up. He said nothing and it was an awkward silence until we arrived to where we were going. I started to try and play with him and stuff and he pushed my hands off of him like I thought he was playing. So I kept on poking him and hitting him. Then he said "stop fucking touching me." And it kinda scared me so I tried to change the topic and stated rambling on about the cars around us. He literally looked at me and said" I don't give a fuck about the stupid cars. Why you can't just shut the fuck up and stop being annoying." So that really hurt me, i went on my tablet and started to play a game for about an hour. Then he said you want me to take you home cuz it don't make sense just sitting here in silence. I agreed and he started to drive me home. Then out of the blue he said after I drop you don't text,call,email me or nothing were over. So I said your breaking up with me? He said no I'm dumping your stupid ass. So I said no you're not you can't leave me over something petty like this. He stared running on about how it's a new year and that I'm making him can't better himself. And he started calling me a dumbass and stupid. So I was like I'm not leaving the car because this is dumb. And I started to cry and that turned into 2 panic attacks. And I was trying to tell him through my tears that I love him and I don't want him to leave me. He started to cry too and hug me. I tried to pull away because I felt so horrible. Then after all of this he looked me in my eyes and said"don't fucking play with me again. If you ever think that this is a game and that you're gonna try me think again." Like dry eyed. I was so stunned I didn't even know what to say. Ik he has dissociative identity disorder. But this is like the first time I've seen him switch from like bad to worst. He explained to me that Michael doesn't like me because I'm soft and very easily manipulated. Then the other personality Logan loves me because I'm so easily manipulated. He then said that I need to find a foundation and if I don't he's just going to be using me. I think he enjoys having power over me. He says there's nothing that he can't make me do and sadly I think he's right. So if you took the time to read this whole thing...do you think I should stay with him? I don't think I can't leave him. I love him too much but idk maybe I love him too much

EDIT.

We broke up today and idk what to do with myself rn