For those who have seen my posts, you know that my fiancé died on 11/27/19 after being shot on his way home. Still haven’t found the killer but hopefully we get some justice soon 🙏🏼

I am also pregnant and found out a week before he passed. I am 16 weeks currently and tonight I felt baby movements for the first time this pregnancy! I felt movements at 15 weeks my first pregnancy so i was wondering when it would happen this time. And while I am excited to feel baby move, I am so angry and sad that I had to experience this milestone alone. I remember my first pregnancy when i felt movements the first time my partner was right there by my side and we were both so happy. Of course he couldn’t feel the movements but he was over the moon ecstatic. I never thought Id have to do this without him. And as I sit in our bed alone with the tiny kicks of our baby inside me, I have never missed him more than I have now. I’ve missed him everyday of course but this really got me. It finally sunk in that he will not be here to hold and kiss my belly as it grows, he wont feel the kicks of our child, wont speak to the baby in utero like he did with our firstborn, and he definitely wont be here for when i go into labor. I wish I didnt have to go through this without him, i feel so robbed. I just want to reach out and have him here with me.

I know nothing I do or say will change that he’s not here, and i have to be strong. I’m trying my best to look for the good, and for now the good are my kids. So just thought I’d share this little update.