Just need to let off some steam and honestly, I’m SO upset right now...

So I’m 36 weeks pregnant, let’s start with that.

A couple of months ago, my sister invited me and my OH to her OH’s birthday meal, which is February 16th. We said that we would go initially. It is his 30th birthday, so quite a big birthday.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, my and my OH we’re thinking about all the things coming up in February and March and how busy this time of the year going to be. We have the following events on:

February 6th was my mums birthday.

February 8th - we’ve been invited to a family reunion meal, which we won’t be attending since we can not afford it.

February 14th - Valentine’s Day

February 16th - sisters OH’s birthday meal

February 22nd - my mother in law’s birthday

February 23rd - My OH’s Nieces’ birthday

March 1st - The day we’re expecting a baby

March 1st - We have to pay our next 6 months rent which comes to $5,250 (we currently have about $2,000 for this) we pay 6 months a time.

March 16th - our anniversary

March 17th - My OH’s sisters birthday

Me and my OH have had to sit down and seriously consider what we can afford to attend and what we can not. We’ve already told his mum, sister & niece that we won’t be able to get them anything for there birthdays since we need all the money we’ve got at the minute. The baby has everything, but we still need a large sum of money for our rent. Things are quite tight.

Now, out of all of the things above, the one thing me and my OH will be celebrating, is Valentines

Day. We decided since it’s probably the last meal we’re going to have together before the baby arrives and because it is Valentines Day that we will go somewhere nice to eat. The restaurant we’ve chosen is probably going to cost us a total of $70/80 for our food.

So, last night we were at my mums (as it was her birthday) and my sister mentioned how upset her OH was that we would not be attending his birthday meal. This just got me so wound up and I could feel so much anger building up inside of me!

I should probably mention that my sisters OH paid for the baby’s crib as a gift to us. He was going to purchase something else at the same price but since he knew that the crib was more important he offered to pay for that. Of course when he suggested this I would’ve said “no that’s too much” or “are you sure” as I’m not just a taker and it was a lot of money so I was overwhelmed by his nice gesture. Obviously, he did not need to do this.

To return the favour and thank him, my OH owns his own business and brought him some freebies back, the freebies probably equated to about $100 worth of stuff.

So when my sister said that he was upset we weren’t attending his birthday meal since he paid for the crib and it would of been the decent thing to do, I obviously immediately mentioned the fact that my OH gave him $100 worth of freebies. She responded by saying “he didn’t ask for it”, well with all due respect, neither did we, ask for the crib. Whilst we’re grateful, we NEVER expected him to pay for it.

She then went on to say how ungrateful I was and that it’s bang out of order that we would not be attending. I was not expecting this! This just literally came from out of nowhere and I was so shocked that this is how they felt. I thought the fact that we was expecting a baby and our budget is tight would be enough for them to understand why we can’t attend but obviously not. So I went into so much detail about events we have on (as I’ve also mentioned above) and the rent that we need to pay etc. She said that it was not about the meal but the principal and that we could have just turned up for a drink? Well, when I told her we won’t be coming she never mentioned “oh why don’t you come for a drink?” and I feel it would be SO embarrassing just turning up for a drink when everyone else is having food anyway? That just shouts “BROKE”. However, had she of mentioned this when we cancelled, we probably would’ve said yes, we’ll come for a drink.

It basically ended up with us literally screaming at each other and I’m just so upset! She mentioned how expensive our rent is and said if we can afford that then we can afford a meal, but we’re moving house in 6 months simply because our rent is way to expensive. She also slammed us for going out for food on Valentine’s Day, saying we shouldn’t be going for food if we have no money etc. I don’t even know what to say, I’m so mad and angry that they feel this way and feel like they should be more understanding given our situation, but I guess not.

She has organised me a baby shower and has said since she’s made so much effort organising that, we should make effort back. I specifically told her not to do me a baby shower! I told her, it was just another expense and explained she had done enough for me already so to not bother, she basically told me to shut up and that she was doing one anyway.

She basically sees it as though, we have expensive things (nice cars etc) that we’re swimming in money. However, we had these things before falling pregnant. My pregnancy was not planned. I was still living at home when I fell pregnant so we had to move out and deal with so much responsibility in preparation for a baby. I got my “nice car” when I was living with my parents and was not pregnant.

Am I in the wrong or what? I feel so guilty and can’t believe we’ve fell out so bad right before I’m about to have the baby!