I know if I told you that there would just be another fight and somehow I would end up apologizing and changing in every way you tell me to yet again, but I need this off my chest.

• I can't do this cycle anymore. Whenever we talk or have any kind of disagreement you talk in circles until somehow it all becomes my fault. You don't see how you act amd never seem to realize your attitude or wording. You make me feel insane and I think you enjoy it for some reason. I do my very best to be a good wife, a good mother for our kids and a god friend to you. I am literally at my breaking point. I dont know how everything turns out to be solely my fault at every turn but quite honestly its become absolutely fucking exhausting to be so terrible when I only try to help. You are pushing me away more and more, I don't know how much more I can take. This has been two years of constant bickering and horrible arguments. I understand kids changed us and made marriage harder for you but that's no excuse to be so mean and not own up to your faults too. I have apologized time and time again and I don't even know what I'm apologizing for anymore. I am so lost in us and motherhood and this just isn't healthy anymore.

I'm in so much pain, physically and emotionally and you dont even care... two under two is rough but you dont want to hear it. You want the perfect wife and I guess I'm just not her. I'm only human. A human that has an auto immune disease making her body attack itself to the point where basic movements are absolutely brutal but I am doing my best to keep a clean household, cook everyday and make sure you dont have to lift a finger to help with the kids or god forbid throw out the trash once in a while.

I dont know if I can continue another year of this. Our kids deserve a healthy relationship to look up to and this just isnt it. Couples therapy hasnt worked because you just see me as the only party at fault. I dont know what else to try.