So when we found out I was pregnant, we told our moms first. I also ended up telling my siblings since they live in a different country, and they could start planning and saving for them to be here for my birth. I wanted to document everything so I recorded all their reactions. It brings me to tears just rewatching how excited they were too.

Two weeks later, I miscarried.

I still have the videos of their reactions. For a while, I didn’t know what to do with them. They were hidden because I was too heartbroken to view them again.

Today I had the urge to watch all of them, and compile the short clips to make a long video. I cried as I watched and reviewed the video, but I also smiled. The love that our families had for them to be so excited with us, it was overwhelming.

Our little bean lived this world for the shortest amount of time but he was already loved — that’s what’s keeping me going.

I do eventually want to share this video with the world, to show other women suffering in silence that they are not alone, and most importantly, to let our little bean know that he will be remembered.

I guess I answered my own question, but I just wanted to voice out my thoughts.