Hey y’all! I’ve never posted other than a quick poll but my family is making me feel guilty and I need to know if I’m wrong in this!

So we’re military we of course move every 2-3 years. I left home almost as soon as I turned 18 and went of to college in another state like 6 hrs away. Only came home for major holidays for the most part. A couple years after college I moved a little closer to home (2 1/2 hrs) but then joined the military and got stationed 14 hrs away (where I met my now husband). We started having kids like a yr after we met (I got married while pregnant with my first). Now here’s where the issue comes in. At that time his family was only 5 hrs away.

That first year we met (before baby) I went to them once (maybe twice to meet and get to know them). That’s when we started getting serious. My family felt slighted because we didn’t make it to them for him to meet (although they’ve talked through FaceTime) until that Thanksgiving. Fast forward to after baby 1 we went again to his fam and they met baby girl about 2 weeks after she was born (mid March) just before he had to go back to work from maternity leave. Not even 2 months later we PCS’d (changed stations) and ended up about the same distance from both sides of our families (8 hrs) so my side got to meet her that May (Memorial Day).

Now sliding into like year 2, we went to his family that Thanksgiving and no where that Christmas but we found out we were expecting baby 2. So at this point my mom decides to uproot her life and moves down that May. At this point she got to see baby 1 all the time, not everyday because of work and daycare but most weekends if not every, we even used our own money to change houses so we were around the corner from her as opposed to across town and she was there for baby 2 being born (in a sense of watching baby 1 and then coming in that following morning).

Finally that Christmas happened and we decided to go again to his family because mine literally saw them all the time and my family decided they didn’t want to miss Christmas with the kids so they went to his family as well. (They felt it was the worst Christmas for them which I didn’t know they felt that way until yesterday). Finally we PCS’d earlier than planned this yr (20+ hrs from everyone) as my husband had to go for training, so she bought a house near the beach but moving so many times in that yr spent all her savings and now she’s living paycheck to paycheck unable to enjoy retirement and pay and plan visits/trips etc.

We’re getting ready to PCS again and be 10 hrs from my fam and 5 hrs from his, expecting baby 3 like 2 months after getting there and I told my mom she was absolutely more than welcome to come but I was gonna ask my husbands mom to be there to watch the kids when baby 3 is born. She felt hurt and her my sister feels I am favoring his family over my own. Hormones are high and raging and they got me all upset and stressed out because I try sooo hard to keep it fair. I felt like his father was there for baby 1 when she was born just because he decided to come up (he lived like 3 hrs away and was only there for a few hrs and went back home), my mom was there for baby 2 (the complete process because she had moved), so I thought it was only fair for his mom to be there for baby 3 as this is our last planned trying to conceive baby (at least for a few years and that’s if she even makes cause who knows if baby comes early). Was I wrong????

Sorry for such the long post y’all but if you made it through it thank you in advance!