Roomate never showers - update-

Ok I need some advice. My husbands longtime friend just went thru a bad divorce and is renting a room from us.

He has been at our place for a month and I shit you not, he has only showered 2 time. How do I know this? I’m a SAHM and I can tell when a shower has been turned on. This guy stinks, but not just bad I mean I gag when I’m around him. The room smells so bad that if I turn the heat on in the house it comes wafting out from the bottom of the door.

My husband smells it but said he’s a touchy subject to tell someone to take care of themselves and I should suck it up.

But I just can’t. It’s so damn nasty. My husband has already gotten mad that I want to tell him to shape up and freaken shower.

Would you say something?

Edited -

I also forgot to mention I have two kids under 2 in the house as well. So the hygiene thing is an issue because I don’t want them getting sick because then lets be honest I’ll end up sick and it’s nasty.

Thank you for the advice I think I’m going to try and leave him a care package and maybe have a sit down and see what we can do to help him thru this. Also, the divorce was a year ago so it’s not super fresh so that’s one of my main reasons for wanting to be like okay it’s been a year let’s get you back to you and let’s start with a shower.

289 views • 1 upvote • 14 comments

COMMENT (14)

Da

Posted at
I wouldn’t be able to take it. Does he show other signs of depression? I’d do it from a place of caring. “Hey man. I know it’s rough. I’ve seen you sleeping, and not eating well, and not showering, and it seems like you’re so down you are struggling to keep up. How can we help? We want to help you back to feeling good. What can we do?”

Gi

Gina • Feb 15, 2020
This is very good advice ^^^^

Ne

Posted at
No I wouldn’t - the guy is renting a room from you and not staying there for free so as gross as it is - not showering as often as you’d like is his prerogative. As long as your property isn’t getting damaged or anything like that then I would stay out of it. Guy is depressed clearly and instead of trying to make him feel like crap by telling him he stinks maybe try some kindness and understanding.

Le

Lei-lei • Feb 15, 2020
Two traits people lack so severely these days! Well said @Nel

Sa

Posted at
He’s probably super depressed, I lost 40 pounds in two moths and was basically a zombie during the beginning of my divorce. But you could get him a care package of socks and underpants, body wash, pit stick,toothpaste/ brush. I know it’s not your job, but you could just let him know you care, and you’ve noticed he’s not doing so well. He might not even notice he’s rank, I didn’t know I looked like a fucking skeleton until my friends had a mini intervention.

Ka

Kat • Feb 15, 2020
I love this ❤

Vi

Posted at
I'd tell him anyway.....
I'd tell him anyway.....

Gi

Posted at
Don’t say anything. He is going through it right now. Bad hygiene is a big depression indicator. He will come around ❤️

Ja

Posted at
I would passively say something “I bought new body wash, you should try it!” Or something like that and hope he gets the hint

🌷

🌷Ashley • Feb 15, 2020
Yeah or like, men’s body wash was on sale so I bought an extra one for you when I got some for my husband! Lol and keep doing stuff like that.

Me

Posted at
I’ve bought a co-worker one of those old spice packs with soap and shampoo before and handed it him told him the ladies like this kind of soap lol. I would do something like that. I personally could t handle that. It would make me sick

❤️

Posted at
Does he have to take a shower in community bathroom or does he have his own private bathroom. If hes sharing bathroom with kids and yall hv a bathroom in bedroom id move everything out of that bathroom to give him his own private space??? Myb tht help him feel more comfortable. Also mayb give him some plug ins saying you bought for all roons in the house and ask hom to plug it into his room.

Ma

Posted at
Okay so i had a room mate when me and my husband got together. It was a small 2 ned 1 bath home. Im guessing 1000 square feet. If that. We moved and took over his mothers lease and she already had this man living there. He was older. Like in his 60s. He was super ill and would poop himsef and just wrap a towel around him self and leave it like that for DAYS. Like wouldnt change his pants or anything. So i started leaving fabreeze oulets outside of the room. I ended up getting pregnant and the smell would literally leave me throwing up all day. So my husband told him that since there was a child in the home we would appreciate him showering on a regular basis to help keep the germs down. He showered every other day for maybe a week. So my husband said "remember we are trying to keep down potential germs. Would you mind showering" then through out the week he would say "hey i left a towel out for you" he never kept up woth itso we asked him to leave. He died a year ago. Kinda wish i was nicer

al

Posted at
I feel like i wouldn’t say something but would kinda hint it. that’d be more of a man to man, friend to friend thing though. but I’d maybe like hint it. by like hey there’s some new soaps in the shower. or something like that.