i need ex bf advice

this is gonna b long so if u read it thank u so much ❤️❤️❤️

my bf broke up w me a week ago after 4 months (unofficially 6 tho) bc he was scared of it hurting too bad when we broke up for college later on (he wanted to, so i was leaving the decision up to him) and didn’t think it was fair “to lead me on” and didn’t think it was fair for me to question his feelings all the time bc he was pulling away and not putting as much effort in bc it the commitment thing w college. THEN i found out he talked to multiple mutual friends WHILE we were dating, about how excited he was to fuck other girls this summer and at college. WHILE we were dating MORE THAN ONCE.

i’m so hurt and idky he would do that to me he was (until he stopped trying) the sweetest bf and an amazing person and he helped me w a lot of my issues w confidence and insecurities and was rlly a good thing in my life. so now i’m torn between being grateful we at least dated and being fucking pissed as hell thag he was apparently a different person behind my back. idek how to handle this... is it ok to the happy that i had that time w him and made new friends and learned new things, (also lost my virginity ayee) and grew to b a better person, but also b furious that he would to that to me, and also feel dumb that i didn’t see that side of him sooner and wasted a lot of tears and anxiety on a person who said a lot of fucked up shit?? i literally am just so confused but thank u for reading if u did ❤️❤️❤️