Depression

Have any of you struggled with depression or not being super thrilled or connected to your baby and then it all go away when they arrive? This is my third pregnancy and I’ve never dealt with this before. This past year I’ve gone through a lot from my husband being unfaithful to just starting recovery from a 5 year eating disorder that I had, a cross country move and stress in between. 2019 was a rough one. I will say that my husband was unfaithful once and the guilt ate away at him and he confessed it all to me. We’re working on our marriage and we’re in a really good place, so please don’t hit me with the “once a cheater always a cheater.” Stuff because I do believe we’re all humans, we fuck up and I’ve seen couples come up 100x better from these situations. I think this past year has just been so rough and there’s so many changes and so much that I’m still working through, that it’s keeping me from enjoying my pregnancy 100%. My depression has been at an all time high and pregnancy hormones don’t help much. I’ve never struggled with ppd before and I’m scared that I will. I’m not a bad mom. I love my kids more than anything. I just want to know that I’m not the only one that’s felt this way and that everything will be okay when I see her face. Please don’t judge me. Im just looking for some advice on depression or ppd. I just want to be prepared.