I just wanted to vent. I had my first baby last year and I’m now trying for my second.

In preparing for my first birth, I read every hypnobirthing book there was, I watched YouTube videos, I wanted to to be really educated about all my options.

I remember in the subject of pain relief everyone had VERY different opinions, with some people saying just have everything they’ll give you and some people saying to me that the only advice theyd give me was to have no pain relief because it’s not as bad as everyone says. I felt a great deal of shame surrounding the idea of pain relief and was DESPERATE to have a pain relief free birth, preferably a water birth.

When the big day came around I had to be induced as I didn’t go into natural birth, meaning a water birth was out, I was still desperate for it to be as natural as possible. I then spent the next 48 hours in agony. Refusing any pain relief. By my third day in labour I was in so much pain I was passing out, I contracted strep b and turned blue, in the end with the desperate pleas from my partner I agreed to start taking some pain relief. And it was honestly what I needed so I could rest after being awake for 50+ hours to be able to push my baby out, the doctors told me that had I not decided then to take pain relief I would have definitely ended up having to go for a c section. I wouldn’t have had any energy for the main event.

My little boy ended up having strep b and we were both in hospital for the following 10 days- but! He was and still is perfect. My proudest achievement! - even with pain relief!!

So basically I think I wanted to say is, that everyone’s birth stories are DIFFERENT. You can not compare your birthing story to anyone else’s. if you were able to go without pain relief that’s your story, if you have a c section that’s your story, if you walk in and get the epidural that’s your story. We’re all amazing mums doing what we can to get the greatest of gifts- and you get the same outcome! I won’t compare myself to people again, because my friends 13 hour birth with no pain relief doesn’t make her better then me who was in labour for 3 days and needed it. It feels different for different people. So if you’re about to have your first baby and your worried all I would say is please listen to your body! YOUR body. And do what you need to. And when you go away and people ask you for advice about their birth be considerate that their bodies may not be yours when it comes to completing this marathon.

We don’t need more things spreading shame to women.

And all our bodies are amazing when it comes to having a baby!

Rant over haha