I still see her as the one that let me get hurt

I thought all the anger would eventually go away when I got older. My mom and I have bumped heads ever since she married my piece of shit father. All the childhood things I loved to do were gone. No more Halloween trick or treating, barely had friends come over(they argued a lot) then all the abuse starts to come out.

I’ve tried telling my mom about how he tackled me in third grade cause I got frustrated with homework. She didn’t believe me.

Fifth grade he hit me with a belt for moving too slow out of bed. My mom blamed me for not listening quickly and I ended up with a scar on my arm. That led to cps being called and guess what? That didn’t do a damn thing.

Always on edge not knowing if he was going to kill us all. I’ve had many nightmares about it. Also I couldn’t tell her my cousin was touching me because she wouldn’t have believed me.

So I have come to realized I’m still pissed off about how little she did to protect my brothers and i.

Before anyone says I need a therapist, they aren’t taking any new patients in my area.

I just needed to get that off my chest