I left but feel bad.Trigger warning

Hello ladies,

Let me start with I am 22 and have been married for almost 3 years I know I’m “young”. My husband and I had a baby she’s Almost 2. Our problems started when I was pregnant he was gone for most of my pregnancy due to training he’s military. During my pregnancy I was hospitalized for half of it so with that being said I felt alone and was kind of sad but understood he had to be gone. Almost immediately after my daughter was born I had extremely bad PPD. He wasn’t very understanding nor did he know how to be supportive on top of it he wasn’t helping with ANYTHING! When I would ask him to help it would take him hours to complete a simple task that I had asked him. Eventually I just started just doing everything without asking. When my daughter was a month old he had gotten duty orders to go to Washington. So we agreed it would be best that I would stay in Colorado because all of my family was here while he moved all of our stuff. So I stayed in Colorado for about 4 months in that time I was super sick, still dealing with PPD, and was starting to re think moving out to Washington but decided to give it a go. We were struggling because he hardly called/ texted to check up on us and things were really off. Fast forward moving there.. when I got there I felt immediately like things were off, and continued to ask him if things were ok. His answer every time was everything is fine we are ok.. not to long after I went snooping through his phone while he was asleep ( I know not cool ) I found out he had cheated TWICE with a prostitute that I know of but there were 2 more that he tried but it didn’t work out.. so after finding all of it I woke him up and asked him about it all he denied and denied until I told him to open his phone up and I had left the screen up with the proof. His face immediately got pale, his reasoning was that at the time that’s all he felt like he was worth and that he didn’t think I was actually going to come out to Washington so he was banking on us divorcing. I also found out he has bought a car for his friend with his trust money that he had received when we got married. His reasoning for that was he was worried I would try to take everything from him if we got divorced... but there were never any divorce papers drawn up or anything for him to even feel like that.. later that night and into the morning I was suicidal and tried to commit suicide. The next day I went in for medication and started seeing a therapist . He told me I needed to see a therapist before we went to any couples therapy.. time went on I was still insecure and nothing changes .. a little bit later I found out he again tried to get a prostitute and confronted him again he literally told me he didn’t remember doing that and denies it to this day.. some more time went on and I just wasn’t feeling it but wanted to stay because of all the wrong reasons.. nothing changed.. fast forward to his first deployment.. He literally only called 1 time the entire time he was gone and that’s because because I literally begged and begged for him to.. he hardly texted either.. his excuse was he was  was just too tired and needed sleep. But when I talked to other wife’s who’s husbands were out there with him they told me they were bored out there that it was off season and had nothing to do. During the time he was gone he would give me little to nothing for groceries, medication, gas, diapers etc... I was literally STRUGGLING to put food on the table for my daughter and I.. I was a stay at home mom because it was far to expensive for me to work with daycare costs. So I relayed on him. We never had a joint bank account he would just transfer 200$ every two weeks when he was payed. Two days before he was supposed to come back he tells me thing aren’t going to work so I packed all of our stuff and put them in the guest room and put I could fit in a suitcase and waited for him to get home. When he gets home she super shocked that I had done all of that in 2 days. He starts begging for me to stay that we will work on thing but I decided I just needed to go home.. am I wrong for any of this?? He told me I am an abusive person and now is trying to use my mental health against me?i Idk how to feel anymore. I love him but don’t think I can stay in such a toxic place.