Thinking about death and love.

Something I think of often when I think about my husband and how much I love him is the fact that there will come a day where one of us will be without the other.

One day, hopefully when we have been together for 50 years or more, I am going to wake up and he will no longer be beside me, or perhaps he will wake up and I won’t be there with him.

One day, I am going to have to figure out how to live my life without my best friend and comforter at my side.

I’m going to sit in an empty house by myself and not see his beautiful smiling face beside me, hear his infectious laugh, or feel his strong arms wrap around me anymore.

I won’t hear the words “I love you, punk”.

There will be no more late nights watching movies together, or playing board games, or just talking about all the things we want to do together.

No more showers together spraying each other in the face, or making soap beards.

No more making spaghetti for the 4th time that week because we both suck at deciding what we want to eat until it’s too late to go to the store and get something.

No more spending our summers in the garden.

No more crying together over how big our children have gotten and wishing they were babies again.

No more reminiscing over the times when we first started flirting and fell in love.

I pray to God that day doesn’t come for a very, very long time. I pray my husband and I get to spend our entire lives together and end up in the nursing home together in the same room.

I know death is hard to think about, and I’m crying as I write this, because I love my husband SO much. But thinking about things like this make me realize how much I do love him, and it reminds me that when we get aggravated at each other or my expectations are way too high, that I just need to remind myself that I fell in love with an imperfect man, but he loves me with all his heart and does everything he can to make me and our kids happy and have a good life.

Cherish your husbands. Pray for them every day. Thank God for them every day. Make time for each other, because time is truly a blessing, and we are not promised tomorrow. Death is something we all come to face in this life.

Philippians 1:21– “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.”