Possible trigger

So my mom and I don’t have the greatest relationship, but we are working on it. She planned a surprise shower for me which I am grateful for cause baby stuff is expensive, and my bf just started this new job so we are catching up on bills.

Anyway my mom tells me that her twin sister wanted to invite my dad. I said no I don’t want him there and I don’t need him in my life. Also I don’t need him trying to grill my boyfriend because he’d be a fucking hypocrite. How is he going to tell my boyfriend about treating women right when he treats women like crap?

Her sister doesn’t get what we went through. She doesn’t know what I saw and had to protect my little brothers from. She doesn’t know how scary it was to not know if your dad was going to kill everyone in the house or just your mom. She doesn’t know how he tried to run my mom over with a car after leaving his family’s party. She doesn’t know how that has affected me or my brothers. She doesn’t know because my mom told me not to say anything. So this is years of holding that stuff in because she didn’t want anyone to know.

Dealing with the nightmares alone. Dealing with the emotional trauma alone. Sure I was in therapy for a little bit until the therapist wanted to have me evaluated and possibly on medication, which my mom refused so therapy stopped.

I don’t want to have to justify why I don’t want to be around him, or have him anywhere near my son. I can forgive, but I don’t want him in my life at all. I wish I could say my aunt would respect that but she’ll try making me feel guilty about it. My mom understands I don’t want him around.