Getting out of my head

I am currently 6 weeks 4 days pregnant after a FET of a 5day blastocyst...every ounce of me wants to be calm and positive... but I am truly struggling.

My first pregnancy ended up being ectopic and I had to have emergency surgery to remove my tube...

Second was after one round of iui but no fetal pole at first ultrasound and had a missed miscarriage ( which I’m terrified of happening again)

Third pregnancy was through IVF.. everything appeared normal until our 20 week anatomy ultrasound where there were clear growth restriction and physical abnormalities... while this pregnancy we were told would likely be able to carry to term the severity of the abnormalities found were life threatening/ which was strongly advised to terminate at 22 weeks. It broke me... we did genetic testing after the fact and it turns out that our little guy had a rare syndrome that was unique to him- not something that my husband or I carried/ have.

This new pregnancy is through an FET...I am on estrace and progesterone and it’s near impossible for me to get out of my head that the supplements are only prolonging a miscarriage, I want to be happy and embrace this but I’m so terrified.

Not sure why I wrote all that but just needed to get it out somewhere. First ultrasound is on Thursday.